Discernment is an inner guide or compass. It is loving and expansive, and offers freedom, honor and options. Judgment on the other hand dishonors, condemns, and contradicts.

Judgment is all about others. It always sets up a polarity or emotional value of this is good and this is bad. An example of this is: A person looks at a brown car and decides brown cars are boring and ugly.

Being judgmental forms a vicious cycle. The very nature of judgment is to always focus or look at the bad. And since "like attracts like" looking for the bad becomes the black DOT, or primary focus. The alarming reality of this is, not only does one only focus on the bad in others, but that is all they can see about themselves. To be honest, one first becomes intimate with their own feelings of shame and inferiority. Then as a way to get relief, they target someone else to shame, so they can feel superior (rather than inferior).

Discernment on the other hand is assessing a situation objectively, with no emotional attachment

to decide what ones decision is. In this case: A person looks at the brown car and decides they do not care for the color of the car. Discernment is all about oneself, This is not for me.

Discernment does not offer excuses, blame others or make empty promises. Discerning individuals do not change the facts to what they think they should say, they conform their actions to the facts. Discerning individuals accept others just as they are. And they are aware they have choices or options that can assist them so their best interest is served. For example, I accept that my co-worker talks a lot about how "rough" her life is. For me, this is not something I enjoy hearing or taking a part in. In a conversation if I notice she is doing this, I have options on what I can do. I can change the direction of the conversation to a topic that we both enjoy, I can excuse myself from her company, etc. Discernment is all about choosing what kind of experience and life you want for yourself.

Discerning individuals have the following attributes:

• They know disagreeing is an acceptable option
• They are in charge of their life, and ready to make choices
• They know NO THANK YOU is an acceptable response
• They realize some people may not like or agree with their decision and choices
• If in the process they feel uncomfortable they know this is acceptable, as they are forming a new habit that serves them

While we may decide to discern rather than judge from here on out, we have to realize that judgment does exist within us, unconsciously at times, formed from past belief systems and old habits that we have not yet released. So if you do catch yourself judging, don't judge the judgment! Simply be thankful it came up to be recognized and can be released. This now gives you the option to "switch gears" and discern at the next opportunity.

Mary Kay Buttery,  2005

Don’t get your knickers in a knot. Nothing is solved and it just makes you walk funny.

"Kathryn Carpenter"